Is that you, Miley? It’s me, Hannah.

Brooks Barnes has a nice article in the Times with the play-by-play of the fallout from the vaguely naked shot of Ms. Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana in the June issue of Vanity Fair, shot by none other than Annie Leibovitz. Apparently Entertainment Tonight got a hold of this image over the weekend, and hooah, those parenting blogs Lit up.

Personally, I don’t think an image can be called topless, unless it’s like, topless. This seems more backless to me. But I’m an ingrate.

Here are the relevant quotes from the players that be, starting before the image came out. I think a little fleshing out, and this could be optioned as a screenplay.

Gary Marsh, the president of entertainment for Disney
Channel Worldwide, in Portfolio Magazine last week:
 ”For Miley
Cyrus to be a ‘good girl’ is now a business decision for her. Parents
have invested in her a godliness. If she violates that trust, she won’t
get it back.”

Miley Cyrus quote #1, from the VF article:
“Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought it was really cool.
That’s what she wanted me to do, and you can’t say no to Annie.” She
also said of the photo, “I think it’s really artsy. It wasn’t in a
skanky way.”

Disney Spokeswoman Patti McTeague, after the Entertainment Tonight story: 
“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created
to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines”

Miley Cyrus quote #2:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and
now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so
embarrassed. I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize
to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Beth Kseniak, a spokeswoman for both Vanity Fair magazine and Ms.
Leibovitz:
“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all
day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and
everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley.”

It took me a few months to understand the difference between Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana, so I’m sure that’s what’s causing the mix up here. Hannah is a rockstar, and is also blonde, so that means trouble. Miley Cyrus would never have even used the word skanky. Hannah must have taken over her brain for a hot minute. Miley, you see, “cares about her fans”. Although I can see why a fifteen year old would pull a Sybil. It’s a lot of pressure to have parents investing a “godliness” in you. Holy cripes. I’m going back to my French Vogue.